BOOK REVIEWS
REVIEWS CAN BE SUBMITTED TO AMAZON BY CLICKING HERE,
or DIRECTLY TO ME BY GOING TO THE CONTACT LINK ABOVE
or DIRECTLY TO ME BY GOING TO THE CONTACT LINK ABOVE
November 9, 2017
GREAT PTSD MEMOIR
This is a fast-paced, well-written book, which honestly and clearly details, without self-indulgence, the quality of the author's life in Vietnam and the years after. He didn't know he had PTSD for a long time and then was reluctant to believe he had it regardless of his symptoms. He so perfectly describes what it's like to have PTSD and not know it--and that's one heck of an uncomfortable place to be.
I identified with the demoralization and shame that follows repeatedly losing your temper, even though every last time you did you made a promise to react differently next time. He doesn't go into what happens in the brain when you're triggered and go nuts, but that wasn't part of his story. (When the survival brain is activated by a trigger, the thinking brain goes dark. They've done scans to show this. You don't have the same access to logic and your normal rationale when you're flooded with stress hormones. That helps the demoralization somewhat.)
I would love it if the government would give every veteran whose seen action a copy of this memoir as well as a book like Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger, which explains what happens in the body and brain as a result of repeated exposure to trauma. It's an involuntary reaction. PTSD is a normal response to abnormal conditions. I won't hold my breath for the government to take me up on my suggestion.
For me, somatic therapy and Trauma Releasing Exercises were helpful in releasing the trauma energy that did not get released after the episodes of trauma. Group therapy was helpful to this author. One-on-one, not so much. Same for me, 1-on-1 was a waste. A twenty-five year waste. Ah well...
Francie Nolan
GREAT PTSD MEMOIR
This is a fast-paced, well-written book, which honestly and clearly details, without self-indulgence, the quality of the author's life in Vietnam and the years after. He didn't know he had PTSD for a long time and then was reluctant to believe he had it regardless of his symptoms. He so perfectly describes what it's like to have PTSD and not know it--and that's one heck of an uncomfortable place to be.
I identified with the demoralization and shame that follows repeatedly losing your temper, even though every last time you did you made a promise to react differently next time. He doesn't go into what happens in the brain when you're triggered and go nuts, but that wasn't part of his story. (When the survival brain is activated by a trigger, the thinking brain goes dark. They've done scans to show this. You don't have the same access to logic and your normal rationale when you're flooded with stress hormones. That helps the demoralization somewhat.)
I would love it if the government would give every veteran whose seen action a copy of this memoir as well as a book like Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger, which explains what happens in the body and brain as a result of repeated exposure to trauma. It's an involuntary reaction. PTSD is a normal response to abnormal conditions. I won't hold my breath for the government to take me up on my suggestion.
For me, somatic therapy and Trauma Releasing Exercises were helpful in releasing the trauma energy that did not get released after the episodes of trauma. Group therapy was helpful to this author. One-on-one, not so much. Same for me, 1-on-1 was a waste. A twenty-five year waste. Ah well...
Francie Nolan
December 14, 2016
I just finished reading your book and i wanted to say thank you for helping me learn more about ptsd and the likely impact on my father. Dad was a Korea and Vietnam vet with combat jumps with the 187th. He never spoke of his tours but was a rock solid patriot his whole life. Many of the symptoms you describe were very familiar and even like your friend Wayne he refused VA help. He has passed now but your story has helped me fill some gaps and made more sense of issues our family faced.
I too am a vet -USAF Desert Storm period but was not in theater. Ive seen many of my classmates in the ensuing years who were Soldiers and Marines and i hope they will read this book. For me I will pass this along to as many vets as I can as i work extensively with the Federal government and hope it may help a fellow vet and his family.
Thanks for your service in uniform and with your book. God bless.
N P Campbell
I just finished reading your book and i wanted to say thank you for helping me learn more about ptsd and the likely impact on my father. Dad was a Korea and Vietnam vet with combat jumps with the 187th. He never spoke of his tours but was a rock solid patriot his whole life. Many of the symptoms you describe were very familiar and even like your friend Wayne he refused VA help. He has passed now but your story has helped me fill some gaps and made more sense of issues our family faced.
I too am a vet -USAF Desert Storm period but was not in theater. Ive seen many of my classmates in the ensuing years who were Soldiers and Marines and i hope they will read this book. For me I will pass this along to as many vets as I can as i work extensively with the Federal government and hope it may help a fellow vet and his family.
Thanks for your service in uniform and with your book. God bless.
N P Campbell
November 19, 2016
This book was very informative and very helpful in understanding why the
people we love came back as different people. My brother was left in Vietnam Nam. He returned physically, but a totally different person. Divorces, alcohol, lost jobs, suicide attempts, I could go on and on.
My husband was also in Vietnam. He, too, suffers from PTSD. He continues to
have flashbacks, nightmares, and cannot be in crowds. If we go to the movies, a sporting event, etc., even church, he has to sit where he can leave, as if an escape route.
Reading this book made me very sad trying to imagine what must be going on
in their hearts and minds. I kind of get it now. I'd like to say, "I totally get it", but that would not be true. You would have to have been there and gotten the UNwelcome homecoming they received to totally get it. I DO understand, though,
and it does make me very sad. These veterans are truly my heroes! ❤️
This book was very informative and very helpful in understanding why the
people we love came back as different people. My brother was left in Vietnam Nam. He returned physically, but a totally different person. Divorces, alcohol, lost jobs, suicide attempts, I could go on and on.
My husband was also in Vietnam. He, too, suffers from PTSD. He continues to
have flashbacks, nightmares, and cannot be in crowds. If we go to the movies, a sporting event, etc., even church, he has to sit where he can leave, as if an escape route.
Reading this book made me very sad trying to imagine what must be going on
in their hearts and minds. I kind of get it now. I'd like to say, "I totally get it", but that would not be true. You would have to have been there and gotten the UNwelcome homecoming they received to totally get it. I DO understand, though,
and it does make me very sad. These veterans are truly my heroes! ❤️
October 6, 2016
I just finished reading your book, "A Never-Ending Battle" and wanted to thank you for writing and publishing your book!! I flew B-52s in '67 and '68 over Vietnam, so I was very fortunate not to have the close encounters with death which you experienced, so I was spared PTSD. A friend of mine, who is still getting therapy for PTSD, let me borrow your book.
I am going to send all my veteran friends a recommendation that they buy your book and seek the help you did if they are still suffering PTSD. I also have to thank you for including so many resources and internet sites where anyone can seek help to deal with PTSD.
I am reminded of Winston Churchill's remarks that "never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few," So many veterans owe you so much for helping them find answers for their many years of pain, for the past, present, and future!!!
A mere thank you is not enough, but all I can do at the moment. So many owe you so much!!!
Dick Weaver
USAF/US Army retired
I just finished reading your book, "A Never-Ending Battle" and wanted to thank you for writing and publishing your book!! I flew B-52s in '67 and '68 over Vietnam, so I was very fortunate not to have the close encounters with death which you experienced, so I was spared PTSD. A friend of mine, who is still getting therapy for PTSD, let me borrow your book.
I am going to send all my veteran friends a recommendation that they buy your book and seek the help you did if they are still suffering PTSD. I also have to thank you for including so many resources and internet sites where anyone can seek help to deal with PTSD.
I am reminded of Winston Churchill's remarks that "never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few," So many veterans owe you so much for helping them find answers for their many years of pain, for the past, present, and future!!!
A mere thank you is not enough, but all I can do at the moment. So many owe you so much!!!
Dick Weaver
USAF/US Army retired
December 3, 2015
A Must Read for Anyone... Military or Not.
Definitely tugs at your heart. My husband and I were both in the Army and stationed overseas but only he was in a combat zone. The book gave me insight as to what my husband dealt with and still has trouble with today. We've been married 21 years and he still hasn't been able to tell me his whole story...maybe never will, but I have a better understanding. Thank you sir for having the courage to write your story. Maybe one day my husband will have the courage to tell his.
A Must Read for Anyone... Military or Not.
Definitely tugs at your heart. My husband and I were both in the Army and stationed overseas but only he was in a combat zone. The book gave me insight as to what my husband dealt with and still has trouble with today. We've been married 21 years and he still hasn't been able to tell me his whole story...maybe never will, but I have a better understanding. Thank you sir for having the courage to write your story. Maybe one day my husband will have the courage to tell his.
November 19, 2015
War and its Aftermath
Gregory H. Murry's review of A Never-Ending Battle: How Vietnam Changed Me Forever
**************************************
Howard Patrick has written an excellent memoir of combat in Vietnam and the effects of PTSD years later. He takes the reader back in time and lets them see what life was like for young men going to college, planing their careers, getting married and then, getting drafted.
Patrick tells you up front that he had deeply repressed his memory and as he reconstructs his time in the army he will take the reader back to that time in a simple but real way. Starting with his trip to the induction center where he watches a group of men being told that they are going to the Marine Corps, Patrick hopes that his computer skills will give him a nice job away from combat.
The army teaches him his first lesson in military logic by assigning him to the infantry. After his MOS training, he is offered additional training in a new program designed to prepare men for leadership as infantry sergeants. Known by others as the 'Shake and Bake' sergeant's school, Patrick gives an excellent look at a forgotten piece of military leadership history. At the completion of his training, after a typical CF medical screwup regarding his injured ankle, he boards that plane that takes him to war.
After the usual paper work, Patrick is assigned to E-1-5 Cav, 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile), the army's answer to the battlefield mobility of the enemy. E Company is the latest organization change and is made up of mortars. Surveillance Radar and a Recon Platoon. Patrick is assigned as a recon squad leader, one of the toughest jobs in the army. He gives realistic accounts of patrolling the hills of I Corps looking for the NVA regulars. He describes in detail the ambush patrols and the aftermath of one where they lost men thanks to a eager beaver 2d Lt who ordered the enemy bodies searched before it was safe to do so.
After six months on the line, Patrick is reassigned to a psychological warfare unit after a confrontation with his company commander over what he determined to be an unreasonable order. There he took part in 'winning the hearts and minds of the people' operations and participating in leaflet drops from a helicopter while a Vietnamese spoke into the public address system encouraging the VC in the jungle below to surrender. He was shot down on one of these flights and was only saved by the skillful pilot who brought the ship back to the airstrip.
Patrick went home after this and returned to civilian life. While he was never spit on in the airport, he did notice that as soon as he told someone about being in Vietnam that person would become impersonal and withdraw from any friendship. After several of these kind of experiences, he learned to bury his military past and get on with life. He was changed but he didn't really know how or what he had become.
Ten or so years after his discharge he realized he couldn't remember anything about Vietnam. As he began to try to remember he begins to describe in great detail what is now called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). His long journey of remembering what happened to him and his buddies in Vietnam leads him into a raging case of PTSD. He looses interest in his work and goes from job to job. His marriage suffers but his wife and kids stick by him. Eventually he finds his way to the Veterans Administration and there he documents in great detail the procedures that vets must go through to get help for what I call the mind cancer that many combat soldiers contract.
Patrick's experiences with the VA are a must read for any veteran. He has been there and if you are a combat veteran you might want to read this book to see what are the symptoms of PTSD and what is available to help you and some of the pitfalls. One of the things he mentions is the fact that most treatments include anti-depressant medication. I would advise you to avoid using them because the side-effects often include suicide which is taking veterans away in record numbers. Since I was healed from my own case of PTSD and do not take medication or receive PTSD disability, I am able to say that the VA can't heal you but perhaps they can help you and at least you may be able to get them to compensate you for you nightmare.
I found Sergeant Howard Patrick's book to be an easy read. I identified with much of his army experiences and believe that his story is the real deal. It is a must read for the young veterans of Afghanistan and Iraq.
Gregory H. Murry
MSG, U.S. Army (Ret)
Author of: Content With My Wages, A Sergeant's Story: Book I-Vietnam
War and its Aftermath
Gregory H. Murry's review of A Never-Ending Battle: How Vietnam Changed Me Forever
**************************************
Howard Patrick has written an excellent memoir of combat in Vietnam and the effects of PTSD years later. He takes the reader back in time and lets them see what life was like for young men going to college, planing their careers, getting married and then, getting drafted.
Patrick tells you up front that he had deeply repressed his memory and as he reconstructs his time in the army he will take the reader back to that time in a simple but real way. Starting with his trip to the induction center where he watches a group of men being told that they are going to the Marine Corps, Patrick hopes that his computer skills will give him a nice job away from combat.
The army teaches him his first lesson in military logic by assigning him to the infantry. After his MOS training, he is offered additional training in a new program designed to prepare men for leadership as infantry sergeants. Known by others as the 'Shake and Bake' sergeant's school, Patrick gives an excellent look at a forgotten piece of military leadership history. At the completion of his training, after a typical CF medical screwup regarding his injured ankle, he boards that plane that takes him to war.
After the usual paper work, Patrick is assigned to E-1-5 Cav, 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile), the army's answer to the battlefield mobility of the enemy. E Company is the latest organization change and is made up of mortars. Surveillance Radar and a Recon Platoon. Patrick is assigned as a recon squad leader, one of the toughest jobs in the army. He gives realistic accounts of patrolling the hills of I Corps looking for the NVA regulars. He describes in detail the ambush patrols and the aftermath of one where they lost men thanks to a eager beaver 2d Lt who ordered the enemy bodies searched before it was safe to do so.
After six months on the line, Patrick is reassigned to a psychological warfare unit after a confrontation with his company commander over what he determined to be an unreasonable order. There he took part in 'winning the hearts and minds of the people' operations and participating in leaflet drops from a helicopter while a Vietnamese spoke into the public address system encouraging the VC in the jungle below to surrender. He was shot down on one of these flights and was only saved by the skillful pilot who brought the ship back to the airstrip.
Patrick went home after this and returned to civilian life. While he was never spit on in the airport, he did notice that as soon as he told someone about being in Vietnam that person would become impersonal and withdraw from any friendship. After several of these kind of experiences, he learned to bury his military past and get on with life. He was changed but he didn't really know how or what he had become.
Ten or so years after his discharge he realized he couldn't remember anything about Vietnam. As he began to try to remember he begins to describe in great detail what is now called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). His long journey of remembering what happened to him and his buddies in Vietnam leads him into a raging case of PTSD. He looses interest in his work and goes from job to job. His marriage suffers but his wife and kids stick by him. Eventually he finds his way to the Veterans Administration and there he documents in great detail the procedures that vets must go through to get help for what I call the mind cancer that many combat soldiers contract.
Patrick's experiences with the VA are a must read for any veteran. He has been there and if you are a combat veteran you might want to read this book to see what are the symptoms of PTSD and what is available to help you and some of the pitfalls. One of the things he mentions is the fact that most treatments include anti-depressant medication. I would advise you to avoid using them because the side-effects often include suicide which is taking veterans away in record numbers. Since I was healed from my own case of PTSD and do not take medication or receive PTSD disability, I am able to say that the VA can't heal you but perhaps they can help you and at least you may be able to get them to compensate you for you nightmare.
I found Sergeant Howard Patrick's book to be an easy read. I identified with much of his army experiences and believe that his story is the real deal. It is a must read for the young veterans of Afghanistan and Iraq.
Gregory H. Murry
MSG, U.S. Army (Ret)
Author of: Content With My Wages, A Sergeant's Story: Book I-Vietnam
Sept. 13, 2015
One Grunt’s Lifelong Struggle
Michael Putzle's review of A Never-Ending Battle: How Vietnam Changed Me Forever
************************************
Howard Patrick didn’t expect to be drafted. He was married, expecting a baby and had a job in the hot new world of high technology, working for IBM, the top of the mountain in those days. When his induction notice arrived, he was stunned–and frightened. He had had student deferments earlier and thought his marriage would keep him out of the service, but it didn’t. He considered fleeing to Canada but decided he couldn’t desert his country or screw up the future for his fledgling family. He also figured his technical expertise would land him a secure post running or fixing computers for the Army. It didn’t.
Instead, he was awarded the MOS (military occupational specialty) known as Eleven Bravo: light weapons infantryman. He would be a lowly grunt. In those days, it translated to being a rifleman humping the boonies in Vietnam. Although he badly sprained an ankle in advanced training, an improperly treated injury that would net him partial disability years later, Howard was sent on to noncommissioned officer training, promoted to sergeant and shipped to Vietnam.
It was 1968, the height of the war, and Patrick was made a squad leader in a reconnaissance unit, sneaking through the jungled mountains of Quang Tri province, searching for the enemy with a handful of compatriots, sometimes exchanging fire with similarly armed Viet Cong or North Vietnamese riflemen. The reluctant warrior found himself living on high alert, setting ambushes, crouching in holes listening in the dark for sounds of enemy attackers, occasionally dodging “friendly fire” from other American fighters who mistook his recon unit for the enemy. After six months, he was transferred to a “civil affairs” unit that flew around in helicopters tossing out thousands of leaflets imploring the enemy to surrender and switch sides to help the South Vietnamese win the war. Near the end of his tour, his helicopter got hit by ground fire that knocked out its engine, and the pilot made a rough, but successful emergency landing that terrified Patrick.
He returned to his young family, enjoyed a succession of challenging jobs in the computer field, then found his life spiraling downward as he grew increasingly anxious, short-tempered and dogged by the realization that he had repressed all memory of the war and the buddies who shared his experience.
In a privately published memoir, Patrick offers a grunt’s-eye view of war and a worrisome account of his long, discouraging battle with post-traumatic stress and his extensive efforts to find effective help. The book, A Never-Ending Battle: How Vietnam Changed Me Forever, is a painfully honest reconstruction of his struggle that he wrote down in hopes of guiding other sufferers.
“If you are one of the people I’m hoping my story helps–a combat vet with post-traumatic stress issues or the loved one of a sufferer–the question is where do you go from here,” he writes. Although his book recounts a nightmarish series of frustrating, even damaging, encounters with the VA system run by the Department of Veterans Affairs, Patrick traced his ultimate recovery to a VA Vet Center near his home and to the combat veterans he met in group therapy who helped each other conquer the demons that only they shared.
In a poem he wrote to his wife Judy in gratitude for sticking with him through the maelstrom, the old soldier wrote:
“While I came back in one piece
and for years seemed okay,
I had no idea that PTSD
was busy gnawing away.
Physically sound
but mentally wounded,
no medal for that
not even a mention.”
************************************
Michael Putzel was a War Correspondent for the Associated Press during the
Vietnam War, a former Washington Bureau Chief of The Boston Globe, and is
the author of The Price They Paid: Enduring Wounds of War.
One Grunt’s Lifelong Struggle
Michael Putzle's review of A Never-Ending Battle: How Vietnam Changed Me Forever
************************************
Howard Patrick didn’t expect to be drafted. He was married, expecting a baby and had a job in the hot new world of high technology, working for IBM, the top of the mountain in those days. When his induction notice arrived, he was stunned–and frightened. He had had student deferments earlier and thought his marriage would keep him out of the service, but it didn’t. He considered fleeing to Canada but decided he couldn’t desert his country or screw up the future for his fledgling family. He also figured his technical expertise would land him a secure post running or fixing computers for the Army. It didn’t.
Instead, he was awarded the MOS (military occupational specialty) known as Eleven Bravo: light weapons infantryman. He would be a lowly grunt. In those days, it translated to being a rifleman humping the boonies in Vietnam. Although he badly sprained an ankle in advanced training, an improperly treated injury that would net him partial disability years later, Howard was sent on to noncommissioned officer training, promoted to sergeant and shipped to Vietnam.
It was 1968, the height of the war, and Patrick was made a squad leader in a reconnaissance unit, sneaking through the jungled mountains of Quang Tri province, searching for the enemy with a handful of compatriots, sometimes exchanging fire with similarly armed Viet Cong or North Vietnamese riflemen. The reluctant warrior found himself living on high alert, setting ambushes, crouching in holes listening in the dark for sounds of enemy attackers, occasionally dodging “friendly fire” from other American fighters who mistook his recon unit for the enemy. After six months, he was transferred to a “civil affairs” unit that flew around in helicopters tossing out thousands of leaflets imploring the enemy to surrender and switch sides to help the South Vietnamese win the war. Near the end of his tour, his helicopter got hit by ground fire that knocked out its engine, and the pilot made a rough, but successful emergency landing that terrified Patrick.
He returned to his young family, enjoyed a succession of challenging jobs in the computer field, then found his life spiraling downward as he grew increasingly anxious, short-tempered and dogged by the realization that he had repressed all memory of the war and the buddies who shared his experience.
In a privately published memoir, Patrick offers a grunt’s-eye view of war and a worrisome account of his long, discouraging battle with post-traumatic stress and his extensive efforts to find effective help. The book, A Never-Ending Battle: How Vietnam Changed Me Forever, is a painfully honest reconstruction of his struggle that he wrote down in hopes of guiding other sufferers.
“If you are one of the people I’m hoping my story helps–a combat vet with post-traumatic stress issues or the loved one of a sufferer–the question is where do you go from here,” he writes. Although his book recounts a nightmarish series of frustrating, even damaging, encounters with the VA system run by the Department of Veterans Affairs, Patrick traced his ultimate recovery to a VA Vet Center near his home and to the combat veterans he met in group therapy who helped each other conquer the demons that only they shared.
In a poem he wrote to his wife Judy in gratitude for sticking with him through the maelstrom, the old soldier wrote:
“While I came back in one piece
and for years seemed okay,
I had no idea that PTSD
was busy gnawing away.
Physically sound
but mentally wounded,
no medal for that
not even a mention.”
************************************
Michael Putzel was a War Correspondent for the Associated Press during the
Vietnam War, a former Washington Bureau Chief of The Boston Globe, and is
the author of The Price They Paid: Enduring Wounds of War.
May 27, 2015
A Never-Ending Battle by Howard B. Patrick
Posted in the VVA Veteran, a Vietnam Veterans of America publication
May/June edition - Books in Review II section
Howard B. Patrick’s A Never-Ending Battle: How Vietnam Changed Me Forever (CreateSpace, 208 pp., $10.99, paper) is a classic account of how combat in the Vietnam War resulted in many years of post-traumatic stress disorder that adversely affected his life. This book is a basic primer for anyone unfamiliar with what the combat experience was like for veterans who served in the Vietnam War. But more importantly, Patrick published his book to help other veterans suffering from PTSD, as well as to provide their families with information, advice, and support.
Howard Patrick was a highly trained IBM computer technician when he received his draft notice in 1967. Of course, the Army ignored those skills and sent him to NCO school. Then came orders to Vietnam, where Patrick was placed in a 1st Cav Division infantry unit—Echo Recon of the 1st of the 5th—as a “new boot” squad leader.
Sgt. Patrick soon was thrust into several heavy combat, which he describes in great detail. After six months with Echo Recon, his platoon walked into an NVA ambush and half of the men were casualties, including the platoon sergeant and platoon leader. Patrick was then named platoon sergeant.
When a shiny new West Point graduate captain ordered Patrick to resume the attack with the remaining exhausted soldiers, he refused. Two weeks later, Patrick was transferred to the 2d Brigade Civil Affairs unit in An Loc. His new duties included Psyops air missions, leaflet distribution, and live audio broadcasts from the air to try to repatriate Viet Cong. Other duties included Medcaps and humanitarian and recreational activities.
Howard Patrick left the Army after serving in Vietnam and returned to his old position at IBM. But he had changed, and over the years his behavior became increasingly dysfunctional. His PTSD began with repressed memories of the war surfacing in nightmares of a helicopter crash he’d survived. Then the flashbacks started. Road rage and panic attacks came next. Patrick’s work efficiency decreased and he began job hopping, eventually filing for bankruptcy. He suffered constant feelings of anxiety and hopelessness, culminating in an unsuccessful suicide attempt, which he hoped would provide a $100,000 insurance benefit to his wife who had stuck with him through it all.
Patrick’s road to recovery from PTSD started when another 1st Cav veteran urged him to get help at a Vet Center. From there, the author progressed to involvement in VA treatment over several years. Patrick lists the complete list of PTSD symptoms—he had most of them. He eventually received 100 percent service-connected disability for PTSD.
This book should be required reading for war veterans wondering if their dysfunctional, erratic behaviors might be due to PTSD. What’s more, every mental health professional who has ever treated (or could ever have) a veteran as a client, also should read this book.
The author’s website is http://howardpatrick.weebly.com
— Reviewed by James P. Coan - Author of Con Thien: The Hill of Angels
A Never-Ending Battle by Howard B. Patrick
Posted in the VVA Veteran, a Vietnam Veterans of America publication
May/June edition - Books in Review II section
Howard B. Patrick’s A Never-Ending Battle: How Vietnam Changed Me Forever (CreateSpace, 208 pp., $10.99, paper) is a classic account of how combat in the Vietnam War resulted in many years of post-traumatic stress disorder that adversely affected his life. This book is a basic primer for anyone unfamiliar with what the combat experience was like for veterans who served in the Vietnam War. But more importantly, Patrick published his book to help other veterans suffering from PTSD, as well as to provide their families with information, advice, and support.
Howard Patrick was a highly trained IBM computer technician when he received his draft notice in 1967. Of course, the Army ignored those skills and sent him to NCO school. Then came orders to Vietnam, where Patrick was placed in a 1st Cav Division infantry unit—Echo Recon of the 1st of the 5th—as a “new boot” squad leader.
Sgt. Patrick soon was thrust into several heavy combat, which he describes in great detail. After six months with Echo Recon, his platoon walked into an NVA ambush and half of the men were casualties, including the platoon sergeant and platoon leader. Patrick was then named platoon sergeant.
When a shiny new West Point graduate captain ordered Patrick to resume the attack with the remaining exhausted soldiers, he refused. Two weeks later, Patrick was transferred to the 2d Brigade Civil Affairs unit in An Loc. His new duties included Psyops air missions, leaflet distribution, and live audio broadcasts from the air to try to repatriate Viet Cong. Other duties included Medcaps and humanitarian and recreational activities.
Howard Patrick left the Army after serving in Vietnam and returned to his old position at IBM. But he had changed, and over the years his behavior became increasingly dysfunctional. His PTSD began with repressed memories of the war surfacing in nightmares of a helicopter crash he’d survived. Then the flashbacks started. Road rage and panic attacks came next. Patrick’s work efficiency decreased and he began job hopping, eventually filing for bankruptcy. He suffered constant feelings of anxiety and hopelessness, culminating in an unsuccessful suicide attempt, which he hoped would provide a $100,000 insurance benefit to his wife who had stuck with him through it all.
Patrick’s road to recovery from PTSD started when another 1st Cav veteran urged him to get help at a Vet Center. From there, the author progressed to involvement in VA treatment over several years. Patrick lists the complete list of PTSD symptoms—he had most of them. He eventually received 100 percent service-connected disability for PTSD.
This book should be required reading for war veterans wondering if their dysfunctional, erratic behaviors might be due to PTSD. What’s more, every mental health professional who has ever treated (or could ever have) a veteran as a client, also should read this book.
The author’s website is http://howardpatrick.weebly.com
— Reviewed by James P. Coan - Author of Con Thien: The Hill of Angels
May 7, 2015
Howard, I finished your book in 2 days - I couldn't put it down. It was the most riveting account of PTSD and the life time effects of war. Excellent!
Howard, I finished your book in 2 days - I couldn't put it down. It was the most riveting account of PTSD and the life time effects of war. Excellent!
March 1, 2015
I read Howard’s book in one day. Very eye-opening and enlightening.
I now have a greater appreciation for our servicemen/women and what they go through when serving our country during wartime. This book is a valuable read for those silently experiencing PTSD: Howard’s openness should certainly make them feel more comfortable in seeking help, and also to know that they are not alone.
I read Howard’s book in one day. Very eye-opening and enlightening.
I now have a greater appreciation for our servicemen/women and what they go through when serving our country during wartime. This book is a valuable read for those silently experiencing PTSD: Howard’s openness should certainly make them feel more comfortable in seeking help, and also to know that they are not alone.
February 7, 2015
Howard was able to talk about things we saw and did that I have left alone. So by family and friends reading his book it will give them a better understanding of why sometimes I may have been disconnected. Until you read a book like Howard's you will never understand PTSD. Please read it.
Howard was able to talk about things we saw and did that I have left alone. So by family and friends reading his book it will give them a better understanding of why sometimes I may have been disconnected. Until you read a book like Howard's you will never understand PTSD. Please read it.
February 2, 2015
Read this book and be changed forever
This book tells an extraordinary story, yet Howard Patrick writes in such an ordinary way and with great clarity. His tone is remarkably unemotional, which makes his stark statements like this one all the more gripping: “Mom, the son you knew died in Vietnam, someone else returned in his place.” This book needs to be read, not just by veterans with PTSD and their families but also by current military personnel and anyone contemplating military service.
Read this book and be changed forever
This book tells an extraordinary story, yet Howard Patrick writes in such an ordinary way and with great clarity. His tone is remarkably unemotional, which makes his stark statements like this one all the more gripping: “Mom, the son you knew died in Vietnam, someone else returned in his place.” This book needs to be read, not just by veterans with PTSD and their families but also by current military personnel and anyone contemplating military service.